Here We Go Again

It's back: I have a case of the Sundays. Teachers of the world, you know what I'm talking about. It's the sickening feeling that sets in around 4:30 on Sunday afternoon when you realize that the pile of grading from Friday has remained in your bag untouched, the beautiful/informative/engaging presentation of the newest complex material is still floating around in your mind rather than displayed on a multimedia platform (which of course must then be uploaded to the class websites that are now required in most schools), the laundry is still piled away and the floor is unswept. Yes, as quickly as it came, summer is now over. I looked at a calendar today thinking it couldn't possibly be true. Where did those 9 weeks of freedom disappear to?? Then I looked at my planner and it became pretty clear: 1.5 weeks were spent recuperating from shingles while the remainder of the 2nd were spent at follow-up doctor visits; 3 weeks were then spent working summer school in an effort to fund a failing car and a possible trip across the ocean to make my fiance's 4-month absence a little less daunting; 1 week was spent at a conference discussing ways to lead teenagers closer to Christ in a world which seems constantly seems to be pushing him farther away; 1 was spent visiting 2 different families; add weekly tutoring sessions and wedding planning into the mix: well, it's no surprise that I blinked and it's over.

I will admit I'm in a much better state than I was on that day in June when the final bell rang (literally I was home on the couch with shingles) but I'm nowhere near the bright-eyed, well-rested, totally-organized version of myself that I envisioned I would be by now. And yet, ready or not, the children return to us this week. Now, non-teacher friends, please don't read this and roll your eyes and think, "Here we go, another teacher whining about her job". I promise that's not what this is. I love my job. I can also guarantee that 90% of the teachers you've heard "whining" over the past 2 weeks love their jobs too. We are lucky: we have a job that matters and a job we love. We are excited to get back in there and meet our new kids and share laughter, love, and memories with them. It's just there is a loss that comes with the beginning of a new school year; it's one that you don't understand until you become a teacher and it's why, if given the choice, most of us would fast forward right to early October and leave September in the rearview mirror.

The loss is twofold: first, it's the loss of self. Literally from the hours of 7:30-3:30, I am not Katie. I am Miss Burke and every minute of my day belongs to someone else: students, parents, colleagues, etc. Teachers are at school for a week before the students arrive and we sit in meetings where we are constantly told how one warning sign or one conversation could have saved a child, prevented a shooting, made all the difference in the world, and thus we are to act like each and every interaction in our day is that moment. On a typical school day, we are of course bombarded with questions about our content area, our grading scheme, our homework policy, etc. but we also keep record of allergies in our room at a given moment, the correct escape route for fire drill versus a weather emergency, and the proper shelter-in-place location for a lockdown. Our cell phone must remain on our person at all times and it is our responsibility to stop and question anyone on-campus without a visitor badge. We are required to post homework and grades each week and cannot let more than 24 hours lapse before responding to a parent email (when there are 100 different students on our roster). Even during the brief moments of solitude while walking to lunch or another classroom, we are counseling students, offering them a smile, laughing at their jokes, etc. Again, let me reiterate: I love these moments. I love everything about my job, except the emails and lockdown drills. It's just a lot to jump back into overnight. Once we get into the routine, we're fine. It's just the initial jump is a lot like running a marathon when you've only been running 5Ks for a few weeks. Once October hits, we're smiling ear to ear again: it's just September that passes by in a blur.

Second, it's the loss of last year. It's hard enough to bounce back into the school routine in September, but what's harder is that it's not the same routine as it was in June. Those students we poured our time, heart, and soul into for almost 200 days last school year are gone. They're down the hall in a new classroom, a little taller and a little tanner, falling in love with someone new. I may have been the one who taught her how to read, the one who comforted her when she caught the stomach flu halfway through the schoolday last January, the one who let her cry over a broken heart last April...but now she spends her days with someone else. And I have another classroom filled with new faces. These are the faces someone else loved and cared for last year, the faces someone else is mourning today, and now they are mine. I am lucky to have them, and grateful...I'll pour my heart and soul into them this year too. It just takes a few days to make the shift. Again, by October we're smooth sailing. My current students have become my world and my former students wave from across the hall, smile across the cafeteria, or stop in on a Tuesday afternoon to catch me up on their lives...and I am reminded that I was blessed to be simply a stop on their journey toward the wonderful people they are becoming.

So, fellow teachers: No, this week won't be easy. And you know as well as I do that the 2 after this one will be even more challenging (the first week at least has that well-organized, well-rested energy going for it!). But we're in this together, and the kids are dealing with the same exact feelings we are. We will all get it through it together with a little bit of love and a whole lot of faith. Non-teacher friends, be patient with us and with your kids for the next few weeks. Imagine starting a whole new job every single year. That's practically what happens to teachers AND students every August. Give us (again, teachers AND students) extra hugs and smiles...and please don't roll your eyes and tell us that at least we had a summer vacation. We know we did. And we're grateful for it. But we also needed it to prepare ourselves for this month of starting over once again. Not to mention, most of us still don't get paid enough to work only one job. We wouldn't still be teachers if it weren't something we loved with all our hearts.

In an effort to simplify your life (or at least your mornings for the next few weeks), plan ahead. Make some you-safe muffins, put them in the freezer, and you have a delicious/easy-to-prepare solution for breakfast for the next few weeks!

Katie's "Power Through September" Breakfast Muffins